Side project

Christ is risen!
I hope everyone is having a great Bright Week.
I'm trying something new on a Wordpress blog that I had forgot that I had. I'm going to try my hand at a serialized novella.
Check out what I have so far and please feel free to let me know what you think of it in the comment box. At the bottom of each chapter is a link to the next and previous chapters.

May God bless all who read my ramblings,

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Maundy Thursday

One year I was actually invited by the priest to one of the twelve whose feet he would wash.
About a day or two before Maundy Thursday the light bulb came on and I talked one of my roommates into helping me.
The Mass was in the afternoon so that morning I had talked my roommate into writing on my feet. I happened to have a permanent black marker handy (It took several days to get the writing off).
So that afternoon, I went up to a chair set in front of the altar and removed my shoes and socks. Father Len true to form, shook his head and rambled on ("I see who's playing Judas today." "I wish I had some steel wool.") while he was the feet of the woman in the chair opposite mine.
In hindsight, it was immature. Mass is not the place for jokes and silliness, but I still laugh about it anyways. I can't undo it anyways.

May God bless all who read my ramblings,

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Seven Years

Long time readers of my humble, erratic blog may remember that I quit drinking some time ago. I've been sober now for seven years. I know its a random anniversary. Why not five or ten or some other round number? Because I am random that's why.

May God bless my ex-wife who supported my sobriety when we were still married. I couldn't have done this without her.

May God bless all who read my ramblings,

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Grad school and other distractions

Today is the first time that I've posted in quite a while. Grad school and other life events have kept me much busier than I had thought it would.
To anyone still reading: I should start posting more as the semester continues. Most of my classes will end this week.

May God bless all who read my ramblings,

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Back to College

I know I haven't posted hardly at all these past few weeks. Between annual training and going back to college its been hectic. Once I get into a rhythm with school I'll get back to posting here and trying to reach my goal of 1,000 posts by the end of the year.

May God bless all who read my ramblings,

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Where is Augusta, Georgia?

The first time I came here several years ago, I had to ask "Where is Augusta, GA?".
I had never heard of the place, nor had I heard of the Master's Golf Tournament. I didn't know that Augusta was along the fall line on the Georgia/South Carolina border, but in retrospect I'm glad that I had to come here. I came here because I was leaving the seminary to become an Army Signal Officer.
Without coming here I wouldn't have Princess nor would I have found how much I love the Byzantine liturgy. So all in all, the weather and other things I don't like about this city have been outweighed by the good.

May God bless all who read my ramblings,

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Dr Who Timeline

I have to confess, I like this show probably more than I should.
Thanks Fr Gregory!

May God bless all who read my ramblings,

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Funny Story Time

First, a little background: This story takes place in Fairbanks, AK in the middle of winter. True story.

I came home from work about 4 PM and parked my car in the designated space for our apartment. I meant to walk up to our second story apartment, get the postal slip and in quick succession leave to pick up the package from the post office before it closed.
I left the car running and made sure to have my second key with me so I could lock the doors and get back in.
I hurried up the stairs and went in to look for the slip. As soon as I came in Hephzibah asked me a question. I don't remember what she asked, but in the process of answering I lost track of what I was doing. One thing led to another and I eventually went to bed.
The next morning I woke up, showered, got dressed and started getting ready to head out for the Post Office. However, I couldn't find my second key. I had one, but I couldn't find the other no matter how many coats and pockets I looked through. Eventually it occurred to me that it might have fallen from my pocket into the snow on the way inside the day before, probably right outside the door. So, I went outside to see if I could find it in the snow.
As I searched the parking lot for this frustrating piece of metal and plastic, I noticed that someone had left his engine running. After a few seconds it dawned on me who had left his engine...ME! The key wasn't lost, it was right where I left it... in the ignition! My car had been running all night.
I hurriedly unlocked the door and put the car in reverse to try and drive to the gas station. I soon found out that its possible to have enough gas in the tank for a car to idle, but not enough for it to move itself.
The nearest gas station was about a block away and thankful it was somewhat mild weather at only -20ish. I wasn't wearing gloves or a hat because I didn't intend to be outside more than just a minute, so I had to trudge upstairs to get those. Upon entering of course Hephzibah wanted to know if I found it. So I had to tell her that indeed, I had found it but...
I wasn't nearly as amused as she was, but she wanted to come with me at least part of the way because the gas station was part of a Fred Meyers (its got a bit of everything like a Walmart but three times as expensive) and she wanted to buy some things. So she got everything on and we walked from our apartment down to the Fred Meyers.
She got a shopping cart and told me to come get her when I was done.
I went into the auto section and bought a two gallon gas can.
I walked across the parking lot and pumped two gallons of gas into the can. The walk back to my car seemed much colder than the walk to the store had been.
As I started to pour the gas into the tank, I managed to spill some on my gloves and had to take them off before my fingers could get frostbitten. I hurried to my apartment, threw away those gloves and put new ones on.
Back downstairs, in the parking lot I finished pouring the gas into the tank and put the gas can in the trunk. I started up the car but amazingly the needle did not move from the red line and the idiot light remained lit on the dashboard.
I drove over to the gas station and filled it up before it could run out of gas again and then parked it with the engine running again. This time I knew I wouldn't forget because I still had to go home and also Hephzibah had a way of reminding me of such things in her own way.
But the story has a happy ending because when I caught up to her in the store, she had bought a cup of coffee for me and its warmth was so delicious.

May God bless all who read my ramblings,

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Why can't we be ourselves?

Why isn't our group more Catholic in our view of the Scriptures and the Church?

So often when I go to the local Young Adult Ministry, I see and hear so may other Catholics who seem to have become or perhaps always were assimilated into Protestant culture and ecclesiology. I had to restrain myself from laughing when I first went and the seminarian who was at the parish for the summer was announcing a workshop on "reclaiming our Catholic identity". We had after all just sang praise and worship all through Adoration (no Tantum Ergo, no litany, nothing Catholic about it except the Eucharist and monstrance) and had some banal talk on what the Bible passage meant to us (no reference to Sacred Tradition, Early Church Fathers, Doctors of the Church or any other saints, nothing more than what the words meant to everyone). As Catholics, we have tools and resources available to us to make both come more alive and delve deeper than the surface into each (i.e. lectio divina, other contemplative techniques and the liturgy).

I've talked to the people with the guitars and in fact to anyone else who would listen about more traditional music, possibly Tantum Ergo or a litany. I dare not go so far as to suggest that we have a priest (Btw, I found out while writing this that Adoration is no longer considered a devotion, but is a part of the Church's official liturgy.) who actually brings the Host (instead of a lay volunteer) or even that he should read from the Gospel during Adoration and preach or that maybe he could use (gasp!) incense. Did you know that in the Bible angels worship with incense or that the word incense is in the Bible 129 times? I've talked to multiple people also about incorporating more solid and substantial teachings of the Church into the Bible studies. The response has gone one of two ways: a) Create another group and do it another time. b) There's not enough time.
Would it kill the person leading the study to take 10 minutes to consult a commentary such as Catena Aurea? Or to look through what a Catholic Scripture study group such as Agape Bible Study has to say?
Another example of what I'm getting at is this week's topic, "Growing closer in a personal relationship to Jesus." That theme and the wording are pulled straight from  door-to-door Protestant proselytism. Meanwhile, to my knowledge, as long as I have been a part of this group we've never had a talk on "Covenant and Sacrament" or "Experience of God as the Mystical Body of Christ" or "Union with Christ in the Eucharist" or "Marriage and Eucharist as Sacraments of Covenant and Renewal".
I've tried to steer our conversations towards what Tradition teaches and what Church Fathers/Doctors of the Church have to say, but I get a mixed bag of blank stares, rolled eyes, sighing, and pushback. I just can't grasp why we as Catholics seem so reticent to worship and pray to our God in a way consistent with our identity as Catholics. Why can't we be ourselves? Why are we afraid to worship and draw nearer to our God in the Catholic way; in a way that goes beyond praise, that transcends and brings Heaven and Earth together? Why do we always go back for more ice cream (see #2) when we have a steak dinner so near to us?
To be fair, its a problem well beyond the confines of that group. The local St Joseph Parish might be mistaken for a mainline Protestant church. The sign out front and the discreet confessionals (although I'm told Anglicans have these too) in the back give it away. I've seen many other parishes like it. There isn't the traditional artwork and statuary that point to the glory and majesty held within the tabernacle of the parish. There is little in the way of artwork to teach the stories of the Bible and the Church or provide assistance in contemplation.

So I ask, why can't we be ourselves? 

Why have we become so assimilated into Protestant culture, theology and worldview?
I've heard Vatican II get the blame, but honestly if you read it you would no longer say that. There's as much ressourcement as there is aggiornamento. I personally think its the absence of catechesis from Catholic sources.

• There is no longer the artwork to subtly point out the Catholic viewpoint on stories from the Bible and the Saints. For instance, Byzantine Catholic and Eastern Orthodox Churches have the Hospitality of Abraham in almost all of their parishes. These Christians grow up knowing about this prefiguring of the Trinity. Older parishes often still have this Sacred Art. A good example from the Latin Rite is Pelican in her piety on the right. The Pelican is cutting itself in order to feed its chicks, like Christ offers His Precious Body and Blood in the Eucharist. Most new parishes lack much artwork at all it seems and we are that much poorer for it.
• CCD is bland. It lacks the sharpness and flavor of our ancient Apostolic patrimony. Confirmation is usually the first and only time that most Catholic parishes earnestly try to teach the richness and depth of the "fullness of Truth", the Catholic Church. Only the Eastern Orthodox can compare in the interwoveness, completeness and consistency of Catholic theology. That is because we both have teachings that can be directly traced back to Jesus Himself. Most of Protestant theology is similar to ours but there are crucial differences such as the Eucharist and most Protestants will only ever experience 2 out of the 7 Sacraments.
• In the absence of instruction from their parishes, Protestant churches, radio stations, tv stations, door to door evangelists and everyday people on the street who've been taught to bring Jesus into every conversation with a stranger have filled the void. I don't blame then for acting on the Great Commission and doing their best to bring the Gospel to every dark corner of their hometowns and the world. I do blame us for not stepping up.With EWTN, Ave Maria Radio and others there is a resurgence in catechism and I am glad of it.
• Christian music stations are just about everywhere. They play praise and worship and/or various other genres of Christian music anywhere from Christian Screamo to Amazing Grace. I've often heard these songs used at Adoration and Mass. Amazing Grace I especially think is nails on a chalkboard. None of us is a "wretch"; we are made in the image and likeness of God. We are not "dungheaps covered in snow". We cannot undo the inherent goodness of God's image and likeness that is fundamental to our very nature. Many accept the theology of these songs which may or may not run contrary to the Catholic theology. I don't understand why there are no Catholic music stations. There are Catholic musicians in every genre. We could do it too and have beautiful songs loaded with meaning, with ancient truth, with a love for the Triune God and the Sacraments.

In short, why can't we be ourselves? Why can't we worship and pray as our fathers and grandfathers did, in ways that had been handed down from the Apostles who received Jesus' teachings and revelation firsthand? Why do so many of us not want to worship in the way that Heavenly worship is described in Isaiah and Revelation?
I am off my soapbox for now.

source for the Adoration picture
May God bless all who read my ramblings,

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"How shall I make you understand the love that my
Father lavished on his little Queen!
Those were specially happy days for me when I went fishing with my
dear "King," as I used to call him."

From Story of a Soul by St Therese de Lisieux 

May God bless all who read my ramblings,

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Happy Thanksgiving

I am thankful for many things this year:  my daughter, her understanding mother, Miss S.F., the fact that I can celebrate Thanksgiving with my daughter (i.e. I'm not in Iraq or some other place), and also for those men and women who defend our country and ensure our peaceful way of life through force of arms.
By the way, Eucharist comes from a Greek word meaning "Thanksgiving".

May God bless all who read my ramblings,

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Wedding Reception

I don't normally post personal stuff, but I want to rant about this somewhere:
Shortly after sitting down, a married couple sat next to my daughter and I. The wife was a very nice lady and I enjoyed the little bit I talked with her. The husband however had a series of things he said that really irritated me.
First, his wife went to the bar to get a drink and after a short chat about potatoes, which turned to talk about cooking potatoes, he informed me that all women are *@tches. He said that he has learned to accept that his wife is one too. I'm glad that his marriage has such mutual respect. I couldn't help but think at this point that if I still had a date, I could have talked to her instead.  I had my daughter there, but she had run off to play with the other little girls.
Later, he bemoaned the fact that most of Congress and most presidents don't have any background with the military but yet they make so many decisions for the military.
I replied that of course that's the way it is, because civilian control of the military is such a crucial element in our country. After all, its what has separated us for over 200 years from the two bit, third world countries that seem to go through unending strings of kleptocratic dictators, juntas, and generalissimos. There has actually been at least one occasion I can think of when the military was about to rise against the government and President Washington talked them out of it.
He became rather indignant and rambled on something. I was really doing my best to ignore him at this point. However, I did find myself talking him about all the equipment that would be left in Iraq and given over to the Iraqi security forces. He felt that we should take it back to the US and use it "along the border", presumably the Mexican border.
I just ignored him this time. That statement made absolutely no sense in so many ways:

1. Since we destroyed the Ba'ath Party regime and established the current government, we have an obligation to them to provide the means to defend their government and provide security to their people.
2. It much more practical to leave much of the equipment where it is because it saves time and money to hand it over instead of sending to Kuwait or Turkey to figure out where to ship it (spending more money we don't have) after that.
3. Do we really want to militarize the Mexican border? Realistically, the reason that our government doesn't do more about illegal immigration is because Mexican labor has become such an integral piece of our economy, from agriculture and construction to restaurant and maids for politicians decrying illegal immigration. Ask Alabama farmers who's picking their crops now!
4. Not only that, because of Posse Comitatus we'd have to had the equipment over to civilian law enforcement or the National Guard. Between the fact that so much of the National Guard is deployed and the expense of mobilizing the remainder its an unlikely option.

Somewhere around here my daughter was getting tired and cranky so I used it as an excuse to politely leave and hopefully never listen to him again.

May God bless all who read my ramblings,

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You know you're a Dad when...

you take off you're shoe and find a Snow White sticker stuck to the bottom of your sock.

May God bless all who read my ramblings,

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As iron sharpens iron

As I look back on the baptism classes I went to before my daughter's baptism, I remember a lot of talk about the role of parents in leading children to a closer relationship with God. However, as I have found out since her birth, that is a two-way street. She's only two so we don't yet have in depth conversations on Theology or the nature of God, but Fatherhood has opened my eyes and made me understand much of Christ's and the Church's teachings and explanations more vivid to me.
Writing this the first thing that comes to mind is the repeated references to the First Person of the Trinity as Father. I understand in a way that was not clear before how much more than I do, God the Father knows what's best for me. Any parents out there know immediately what I am talking about. I know its best for my daughter to go eat fruits and veggies instead of cookies, but she doesn't see it that way. For that matter, I am realizing through her how selfish I am when it comes to what I think is best vs. what the Father tells me is best. She is a wonderful little girl, but after all she is 2 and still doesn't think about much outside of herself.
As a Dad, I can understand now much better the level of love that the father had for his prodigal son. I understood the parable before, but feeling that powerful, unconditional love for my daughter has made it much more real for me. I couldn't imagine not taking her back if she were the prodigal daughter.
The other thing that jumps to my mind as I type this was an example from Story of a Soul. She compared a child who knows that the father is removing things that might trip the child vs a child unaware of the father's actions. The child who knows is more grateful, because the child who is unaware does not know that it happened in order to be grateful. After many times leading my daughter away from harmful things such as tripping hazards, I am realizing everyday that our Father removes many more things from my path and leads me away from many dangers I would have otherwise fallen into. I am grateful, but again the example has become much more vivid as a father.
I think the best example of how much having a daughter has taught me, was the other week at St Ignatios parish here in Augusta, GA. As my daughter and I left church and older lady from the parish remarked that with her penchant for pretty dresses, pretty hats, shoes and purses she is going to be expensive. I replied that "She is worth every penny." The lady said, "Think how much more the Father feels about us."
St Joseph and Joachim, pray for us.

Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Psalm 128:3
Thanks to Kkollitz for pointing out this Psalm in the last post

New blog

I haven't posted here in quite a while. For those of you who still check this blog or follow it on some form of RSS, thank you. It is good to know that my rantings and ramblings have an audience.
I don't know when the next time will be when I post here, but I have begun another blog. Its going to be short stories that I write when I am so moved. I already have one short story posted.
The blog is Short Storey Mountain. The name is my homage to Father Thomas Merton. Please stop by and comment with your opinion of the story or criticisms.
Thanks again for reading.

LOL Saints Submission

LOL Saints posted one of my submissions. Its a post about St Sebastian, one of the patron saints of Soldiers.

PT uniform at Mass

The drought is over. I know that I haven't posted much lately. I need to start taking more time for myself to do these sort of things before I go crazy.
I have seen on other St Blogs where people have complained about attire at Mass. I have a similar rant, but with a somewhat different angle.
It drives me nuts to see Soldiers come to Mass wearing their PT uniforms. I understand that we are deployed and didn't bring our Sunday best, but there are 2 primary reasons a Soldier wears PTs: sleepwear and working out. So more than likely they either just rolled out of bed and walked to the chapel or Mass is worked around their workouts.
ACUs (the digital gray uniforms you see on the newscasts from Iraq/Afghanistan) aren't anything special but they are the only other clothes that Soldiers have over there. And they are certainly a more respectful outfit than your sleep/workout clothes.

Her First Piece of Chocolate Cake

She had her first birthday a short while ago. My wife, I'll use the code name Hephzibah, gave her chocolate for the first time.
Like you, I must be content with pictures.
Before...
And after...

Quick Nap

This picture was taken a few months ago when I was still in the US.