Two roads diverged in the seminary woods and I... I got out of Dodge. Will that make all the difference?
The original was more eloquent, but my adaptation gets the point across. I wonder often if it would have been better to stay. The die is cast however, and the next few years are largely predetermined.
So I guess the larger question of what I am going to do with my life is somewhat academic for the next four years at least. Still, being a curious sort I can't help but wonder. Should I date and eventually marry and just put this whole seminary/priest thing behind me? Should I hold fast for a few more years, pick myself up and try again? Religious? Which order? Diocesan? Which diocese?
On the other hand, 4 years of active duty will give me ample time to sort through all this and hopefully figure it out. I wish choosing vocations were as easy as Mary's Fiat: An angel shows up and tells you what God wants and you say yes. Of course living it out was another matter altogether. I'm sure that the Seven Sorrows were not easy at all.
I know that living my vocation will not be easy, but I wish sometimes that the Big Guy Upstairs would just spell it out for me in neon lights or something. But I know that won't happen.
Jesus, my General, tell me where you want me on the battlefield.
"Jesus, my General..."
I really like this prayer; my husband will like it too.
Good luck, God bless. YOu have my prayers.
Dating and opening yourself to the vocation of marriage can be a way of helping to discern, especially if you approach it with a spirit of discernment. Don't get too serious with anyone who isn't a good candidate for marriage in all aspects (availability, compatibility, and bringing out the best in you spiritually), and if you feel yourself starting to feel serious about someone, pray deeply on the subject.
If you treat marriage as a vocation, too, you will have some protection against falling into it if it isn't where God wants you, and that will help you to know whether He is guiding you toward seminary.
God bless you!
Wanted you to know that I empathize with your situation. I have been trying to discern whether or not my vocation is to the priesthood or to a secular profession for several years. I still want to be a priest very much, but at the same time, I have abandoned the decision to the Father Himself, and He seems not to be leading me to the priesthood by any very direct route.
Pray hard, and live day to day without anxiety about tomorrow; it will come soon enough. In the end, God guides His servants to where he wants them.
I wish you peace and happiness.
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